Lorne's Journal

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Wednesday January 23, 2002 : Last Day In Bangkok

Today was my last day in Bangkok... for a long time perhaps...

K and Baby K stayed the night at Evergreen, which was nice. The fact that I was leaving was very difficult for K. The uncertainty of if and when I might return even worse for her. She and Baby K left at 8:30 am. I walked them out to the road and waved goodbye as they headed off in a taxi. Then I went back inside and waited for the storage company to show up. I didn’t have much for them to store, but I didn’t want to take more than one bag with me on the flight. They arrived and packed away some books, some CDs and my ER-1 Drum machine. They will go in storage along with the stuff I already have there. I will ship it all back to Canada sometime in the spring.

I walked over to the Siam Center and developed a roll of film which included shots from yesterday. I stopped by McDonald’s and had my last Taro Pie for a while. Later I had some food at Fresh Milk. The day went by far too quickly. K came back to the Evergreen at 4:00 pm and we moved my pack, my guitar and my suitbag to the 8th floor Cafe. I had checked out by this point. We sat out in the sun by the pool for a while then headed off to Fresh Milk. On our way, we ran into Geri, who joined us for dinner. Geri had to head out when we were done, so I said goodbye to her until... well, who knows. K and I walked back to the Evergreen and hung out in the cafe waiting for Anand to arrive at 8:30 pm. I managed to spend the 400 baht in change that I had collected over the last month, something Joom didn’t really appreciate, as she will have to roll it all.

It was like waiting for an execution. In a way, you just want to get it over with, but in a way you want time to slow down. Anand arrived and we headed out. K and he talked a lot in Thai, and it turned out that she had gone to college with his youngest son. The drive to the airport was not long enough. K insisted on coming in and staying with me until I went through customs. I said goodbye to Anand, which was sort of sad. I have his address so he will be added to the list of folk I send postcards to.

Once in the airport, I checked in. My flight to Europe was on Swiss Air, but the Swiss Air counter was staffed by Thai Air people. I was confronted with the annoying argument from them that I should have a forward ticket from my ultimate destination of Prague... They could not seem to understand that unlike Thailand, I could leave the Czech Republic by means other than air... Nor could they conceive of the idea that Czech authorities wouldn’t care if I had a forward ticket. This was impossible to convey to them, and I ended up arguing with them for 15 minutes. In the end, they made me sign this ridiculous disclaimer form, all the while eying me suspiciously, as if my guitar case contained a AK-47.

I had plenty of time before boarding, so K and I sat in the little cafe where we had sat when I originally left Thailand in the summer. K kept threatening to tear up my ticket. We sat and talked until 10:30 pm, when I had to go through customs. I started to get all teary at the entrance. A very difficult goodbye. One last kiss, one last look back and I was through... and gone.

Tuesday January 22, 2002 : Baby K Day

Things in Bangkok draw to a close. I spent this morning getting my tickets to fly out. I had planned the day with K, so once I was done at the travel agent Anand and I headed back to Evergreen and I waited for K to arrive with her 2 year old daughter. Originally the plan had been to go up to the floating market and the River Kwai, but it was too late to set out by the time I was done getting my tickets. Instead we headed to the city of Ayudhaya, which up until 250 years ago was the capital of Thailand (Siam in those days...). After repeated invasions and conquests by the Thai’s bitter enemies, the Burmese, the capital was relocated to Bangkok.

The drive out to Ayudhaya was about an hour and a half. We all sort of dozed on the way there, only waking to find ourselves too hot from the sun despite the air con. Our first stop was Royal Temple of Wat Yai Chaya Mongkol, originally built in about 1590. Most of the temple was destroyed and stripped of its Gold by one of the many Burmese invasions, however the ruins and the grounds are maintained with a great deal of care by the monks. The gardens there were beautiful, and I found myself quite moved by being there. We stopped at a functional temple first, K leading me once again through the incense, lotus flower, gold foil sticking process. Baby K knew what to do. K also had me do this weird shaking of a tube full of sticks thing. The idea being the stick that comes out has a number, which has a fortune to go with it. I however didn’t fully understand this process and shook the tube endlessly trying NOT to have any of the sticks fall out. Out of frustration with me, K let Baby K shake it... and I got my fortune. After getting the English page with my fortune on it, I got to bang this REALLY cool gong 3 times. I wish I had brought my palm recorder to sample this gong with. It wasn’t the typical Bohemian Rhapsody Gong... it was this thick gong that when struck gave off the coolest bass sound since Tony Levin’s Memory Moog.

Booooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmm

From there we headed into the ruins of the Temple. There were hundreds of ancient Buddhas around what would have been the courtyard, each one wearing a yellow sash. In the middle of the court was the main bell-shaped temples. Baby K insisted on climbing the many many steps up to the main temple by herself, although K and I were climbing beside her ready to grab her if she slipped. Since she would have to steady herself with her hands as she climbed, she would insist on brushing her hands together after each step to remove the feeling of dirt. This slowed the process of accension even further, but was hularious to watch. Once we’d had our fill, and before Baby K could go off and play in the sprinkler system, we headed back and moved on the main landmark.

Anand drove us over to Wat Changlom, in Sri Satchanalai Historical Park. This is the site of one of the original palaces. Again, the palace’s being in ruins is due to one of the Burmese wars. It was still very beautiful, but to have seen it before it was destroyed would have been wonderful. K tried to take a photo of me alone in front of the Wat ruins but Baby K insisted on standing in front of me. She walked beside me through the grounds talking to me endlessly in Thai, which K later translated as a story about a big cat. We spent about an hour there, and I felt like I was walking around something from H G Well’s time machine story. A very spooky place. Eventually we went back to Anand’s Taxi and hung out there for a bit. K changed Baby K, got some food, and watched with her while tourists on elephants went by. Anand was amused by my fear of the beasts. Baby K LOVED them. At around 3:30 pm we headed back to Bangkok.

What a cool day.

Sunday January 20, 2002 : Last Sunday In BKK

Today marked the beginning of the “lasts” before I leave here. This will be the last Sunday I spend here. It was in many ways typical of so many Sundays that I have had in Bangkok. I slept in late. I sat by the pool for a little while, before taking a swim. I went to The Bull’s Head for breakfast and listened to a mix tape that rarely left my walkman in the spring. There was a big downpour that would have soaked me if not for my MEC rain gear.

I met Geri at The Bull’s Head and we ended up spending 3 hours there talking and talking. It was a good afternoon, although it only reinforced WHY I am unhappy to leave here. We ran into some of the Larry’s Dive regulars as we were leaving. One of Maggie’s close friends was among them. They invited Geri out, so I went back to Evergreen.

Leaving weighs on me tonight.. I should be excited to go somewhere new... or to be taking my first steps towards returning to Canada... But I am sad to leave here. I am sad to leave Asia. I am very sad to leave K.

Saturday January 19, 2002 : Day With Geri

I got up when K left this morning, then snoozed until noon. Geri called me up and we met for breakfast and hung out all day together. She’s been a little blue because she misses her Mom and Jake. We wandered around Siam Center, and at one point considered seeing a movie. There wasn’t much to choose from. “Behind Enemy Lines” looks so incredibly bad... so... we admitted to ourselves that the real reason we wanted to see a movie was for the popcorn, bought some popcorn and went on our way.

They have an Oxygen Bar near the theater, so we decided to try it out. It was sort of silly. 100 baht for 20 minutes of scented oxygen... and the fruit drink of your choice... I'd imagined that I'd get one of those oxygen masks like in the “Emergency” TV series... “Squad 51... people breathing pollution...” But instead we were suited up with these weird little “Dune” like nose plug things... (He who controls the spice...)

The problem with these nose plugs was that they were obviously designed for tiny little Asian type nostrils. Not big Farang honkers. Once inserted, the attendants turned on our scent of choice which was the most unpleasant part of the whole thing. I would have preferred just pure oxygen without all the dream flower halo raindrop nonsense. The scent also altered the taste of my tropical fruit drink to something resembling furniture polish. All Geri and I could do was look at each other and laugh. I regret NOT having my camera with me. They even supplied headphones so we could listen to chirping birds and dreamy twinkle music. Once our 20 minutes was thankfully over, we headed on our way. I felt no better for the ordeal... Geri headed off her direction and I wandered back to the Evergreen. Now I await K.

Thursday January 17, 2002 : Day With K

K showed up last night at around 1:30 pm. She stayed over, and instead of heading out at 6:30 am spent the day with me. Normally we both feel a pressure to “do something”, but today we just hung around the Evergreen. At 10:30, we walked over to the MK Restaurant and got some food. I insisted on a fish free breakfast, so it was beef that went into the broth instead. We managed to eat until we could eat no more. We walked back to Evergreen and managed to do absolutely nothing all day, until K had to leave at 5:00 pm.

I walked K to the BTS then checked my Email at the nearby cyber cafe. Some annoying backpackers came by and were loud, smelly and rude. One looked like that American guy who was captured fighting with Bin Laden’s Boys... Scruffy!

I went back to Evergreen and watched some TV, ate some sunflower seeds and waited for Geri to call me. I have some things in her friend Steve’s apartment so I got those at around 9:00 pm. I managed to go to the gym from 9:30 pm until 10:30 pm, which was nice as it was EMPTY. I saw Joom as she was closing up the Cafe. She’s been ill with a thyroid problem... fortunately it is NOT cancer.

Now it's time to wait for K.

Wednesday January 16, 2002 : Leaving Maggie's, Maggie's Leaving

Last night was Maggie and Jake's last night in Bangkok. Jake had 3 friends over, and Maggie let them run loose in the apartment until their mothers arrived at around 9:30 pm. Jake was unhappy to say goodbye to his friends. Geri came over and spent the evening hanging out with her Mom and talking to her. I sorted stayed out of everyone's way and sorted out some travel plans of my own. I met up with K later on and we came back to Chez G. Everyone had gone to bed by that point. K left at 6:30am, and I spent the first part of the morning repacking what I had brought over to Chez G and preparing to go back to Evergreen.

Anand picked me up at 10:00 am and our first task was to find a photo place to get some passport photos done up. My visa ends on the 20th, so I had a morning of running too and fro and filling out forms. I think that I actually encountered the most unfriendly Thai in Bangkok at one counter... Yikes. I checked back in to Evergreen and went to Fresh Milk for some food. I sorted my stuff out later then spent about an hour by the pool. I fell asleep listening to a mix tape I'd made at Brook's in September. It was sort of spooky as the music reminds me so strongly of that brief, wonderful time and Small L's affections. I took a second nap indoors and slept from 4:00 pm until 7:00 pm. I had planned to work out but was far too hungry so I went back out to Fresh Milk for my supper.

It is now 8:30 pm. Geri will be taking her Mom and Brother to the airport right about now. I'm sure it will be a teary goodbye. This makes me feel sad as well, as I see my own time here quickly coming to an end. I know I wasn't pleased by moving to Bangkok, but I must say now it's as much home to me as Toronto, and I am very sad to leave.

Tuesday January 15, 2002 : Last Night At Larry's

As Maggie and Jake are heading off this week, there was a farewell get together for them at Larry's Dive last night. It wasn't a huge affair, but it was good company and good food. I spent most of the day being defeated by Jake on a variety of Playstation games. We headed to Larry's at around 8:30 pm and met up with Maggie's Hugh Grant-like friend Tony, as well as an American fellow named Kevin, who's a strange cross between John Goodman and Tom Hanks in nature. Jake played many games of pool, winning some, losing some, but always playing extremely well. Many of the contenders would make the mistake of “going easy” on him because he's a sweet innocent looking 9 year old kid... until the realize he's kicking their asses. The realization would often come too late. One fellow commented that Jake “practices too much”.

Geri and the Mysterious J arrived at 9:45 pm or 9:00 pm Geri time. Mysterious J ordered many plates of Larry's Buffalo Wings and we alternated between eating, commenting on how good they were, and groaning in agony at the spicy bite of Larry's special hot sauce. Much drink was consumed, and I think I ate as much as I did all last week. Geri was in the unfortunate and unique position of being tormented and teased by not only Mysterious J, but myself and her youngest Brother. I suppose it wasn't really fair. Fun though.

The festivities ended at around 11:30 pm after a close game between Kevin and Jake (Kevin won by one shot) and I took Jake back to Chez G while Maggie and Tony-Grant went off to meet other friends. The female staff of Larry's insisted on getting their pictures taken with Jake. He was visibly sad to say goodbye. Later he confided in me that he was sad to go and that he'd “miss that place a lot”... I told him its okay to be sad to leave somewhere, as if you are never sad to leave it means you've never been anywhere good. Being sad to leave is something I seem to be an expert in. Jake and I played with his Playstation for a while, then he went to bed. I waited for K who showed up with Champoos, watermelon, and ice coffee. I gave her a little wooden Elephant I'd bought her as well as few things for Baby. I had been worried that my anger at Sunday's Mullet Disco event had offended her, and she had been afraid that I was angry with her for taking me there. Thankfully, everything was okay.

Today I got up with K at 6:30 am and saw her off. Then I went back to bed. Maggie and Jake were out when I was up, although the shipping company had obviously come by. In the kitchen I discovered a styrofoam container with my name on it. Inside I found a Dubliner fry-up breakfast. Yummy! I spent the afternoon watching Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back on TV. Maggie and Jake got back at around 3:00 pm. I will be heading back to the Evergreen probably tomorrow.

Monday January 14, 2002 : Night Of The Mullet

Sunday night, I made the big mistake of meeting up with K, 4 of her friends, and this questionable middle-aged European fellow. I wasn't feeling 100 percent, being chilled and trembling, however K really wanted to go dancing with her friends, so I said “Oh, alright”. Now, I've tried to make it a policy of not reporting the negative, however last night was an evening that defines one of the unfortunate aspects of Bangkok.

Have you ever wondered what happened to that strutting jock with the big flowing Mel Gibson Lethal Weapon hair? The one that used to annoy you back in 1986? Haven't seen him lately? Well... Let me tell you:

He, Mr. Mullet and all of his halfwit friends are alive, well, and pumped full of viagra in Bangkok. They have the same hairdos, they wear the same clothes, they use the same tired SNL jokes and they make me just as angry now as they did when I saw them back in 1986. The only difference now is that they are pathetic old men, doing the exact same things as they did when they were pathetic young men.

In 1986, I hated them because I felt there was something false about them. It annoyed me that I could see this but no one else could. I could never put my finger on what it was about them that I found so offensive. Now, with the passage of time, it is clear. They are pompous halfwits, who talk like they know what is what but don't know what is what they just strut... what the .... And my lack of confidence in 1986, coupled with their tons of confidence, made them seem so powerful and somehow better than who I was. Now that time has allowed me to walk among their remains in the elephant talk graveyard, I see the truth. They were idiots in 1986 and they are even bigger idiots in 2002.

Now the only question remaining is whether or not South East Asia is the place where Mullets go to die. When your fashion sense goes ten years past its expiry date, do you automatically get a ticket to Bangkok?

It wasn't the evening my dear K had hoped for. I was glad when the whole event was finished. The language barrier didn't help me to explain to K why I was so uncomfortable. The evening ended with a very quiet cab ride back to Chez G. I wasn't feeling well, but neither was K. She'd had a few too many tequilas.

Saturday January 12, 2002 : Quiet

I got up at 6:30 am with K and saw her off then crashed until late. Jake went off for the weekend so it was really quiet and sort of lonely around here. Maggie was out when I got up, but she called later and I met her for some brunch at The Dubliner Pub.

It was an absolutely beautiful day today. The temperature is perfect, hot without the humidity. Maggie went off to the spa, so I walked back to the Chez G alone and enjoyed the sunshine. I picked up some teabags and milk at 7-11, and wandered around a bit.

The rest of the day was quiet. I played Jedi Power Battles on Jake's Playstation, but it wasn't really as much fun without him as the Obi Wan character.

Tonight Maggie went out but I wasn't feeling up to it. I stayed in and just took it easy.

Friday January 11, 2002 : Day With Jake

Maggie had errands to run, so I hung out with Jake all day at Chez G. We battled with the forces of evil on his Playstation and finally got past the one point we could never seem to clear.... only to both later die pointless deaths by falling off of something. Oh well. NEW GAME.

This evening I joined Maggie, Geri and Jake at Larry's Dive for some food. They were meeting up with Maggie's friend Kim. Jake played billiards with her kids, and later went on to beat several grown men at it. This is apparently a regular occurrence.

Thursday January 10, 2002 : Dinosaur Sheets

Maggie invited me to crash at Chez G for a week. She and Jake are flying to the UK soon, but I can stay in their guest room (for free) until that time. I had Anand move me over to Soi 20 yesterday afternoon, and spent the day hanging out with Jake. We played the Jedi game until our eyes were ready to fall out (or at least mine were). Geri came over in the evening and we watched a movie on VCD.

I met up with K later and we came back to Chez G. She was quite amused by Jake's “Dinosaur” sheets that were on the guest room bed. She was kind enough to bring me a McDonald's Taro Pie which is one of the many reasons to visit Thailand. I don't know if you can get them anywhere else.

Wednesday January 9, 2002 : Out With Jake

K left this morning at 7:30 am. I had breakfast at Fresh Milk alone. I hung out all morning, then went to the gym at 1:00 pm until 2:30 pm. Maggie had called me yesterday and asked me to take care of Jake this afternoon, so I met up with them at 3:00 pm. I took him to his Tae Kwan Do class, which was fun.

His instructor, Don Ferguson, was the Canadian Champion and had an impressive bunch of awards and certificates. It was a class for kids with their white or yellow belts and it was fun to watch them jumping about with that energy and enthuiasm only kids seem to have. The class lasted an hour, then I took Jake to Starbucks for a treat. We walked back to Soi 20 and to his place and played some Jedi Knight game on his Playstation until Maggie got back. Maggie and I talked while Jake watched TV, and later we ordered some food from Larry's Dive. I stayed until 10:00 pm. It was cool to hang with them and it reminded me of when they were staying with me at LP4 in Manila last year.

Tuesday January 8, 2002 : Looking For Boots & Finding Food

I had planned to hire Anand to drive me to the floating market and the River Kwai, however K was free from 4:00 pm on, so I changed my day around. Instead I had Anand drive me first to China Town; a place I'd yet to visit. We walked around and had an excellent lunch. China Towns, like McDonald's restaurants, are the same all over the world. There are lots of restaurants, lots of stores and vendors selling the same junk, lots of traffic, lots of crowds and lots of noise. The only thing I saw here that I've never seen before was actual sharks fins for sale. 30,000 baht a fin.

As I am heading to somewhere colder soon I went searching for suitable clothes. Anand drove me to a market area that had quit a few army surplus stores. I was certain that I could find myself a good pair of combat boots to help me deal with inconceivable things like snow. This was not to be the case. If... IF I could find a pair of size 10's, I couldn't find a pair that would actually fit my leg. I soon gave up looking as ALL of the vendors had exactly the same items. I will just have to wait until I am in a place where people are bigger.

Anand dropped me off at Evergreen at around 3:30 pm. K showed up shortly after and took me to this restaurant in MBK mall called "MK". MK does not stand for Mom's Kitchen. Each table has a hot plate with a pot of water, oil and ginger on it. The idea is to order plates of items such as beef or shrimp etc, toss it all in and then cook it up. I let K order, and we soon had the entire cast of "Little Mermaid" floating around in our own little broth. K tossed in a couple of raw eggs for good measure.

After pigging out, we walked back over to the Evergreen. We went to 7-11 for a treat or two and picked up some fresh fruit from a street vendor. K bought me fresh watermelon as well as something that is called “Cham Phoo” (which I purposely mispronouce as “shampoo”). We went back to Evergreen and watched TV, then later at around 11:00 pm went back out to get a bite. I was amazed I was actually hungry again after the MK feeding. We have been frequenting a small street vendor who's name translates as “Thai Noodle Man” (which can be sung to the “Muffin Man” song), who is located just in front of the Evergreen. 40 Baht will buy you a lot of food, the meat of which is cooked over a little grill on top of a ceramic pail full of charcoal. We had our midnight snack then headed back to Evergreen.

Monday January 7, 2002 : Dinner and Movie

I spent most of the day snoozing by the pool. Even though I was in the shade, I still managed to burn my nose. I went to the gym from 6:00 pm until 7:30, then at 8:00 met up with Geri.

We took motorbike taxis to this amazing Lebanese restaurant over near Soi 3. The ride over broke every safety road rule the first world ever thought of. If you've ever played a video game where you have to ride a bike through busy traffic at high speeds, you'll have an idea of what it was like. I think that I laughed all the way there.

The food was absolutely amazing. I haven't had food like that since Toronto, so it was a real treat. After the yummy meal, Geri and I hoped on a few more bike taxis and road over to the World Trade Center Mall to see the movie “Ocean's 11”, which I thought was excellent. Geri and I sat in this cuffy silk couch thing... Geri had seen the movie before, so she prompty fell asleep. After the movie we said “goodnight” and went our seperate ways. I walked back to Evergreen.

Sunday January 6, 2002 : Leaving And Staying

I was planning to leave Bangkok tomorrow morning. This has been weighing on me, and making K not smile that wonderful smile of hers all week. Yesterday I made a decision NOT to leave until perhaps later in January. This will mean changing some arrangements but... so be it. Staying a little bit longer feels right.

My time in South East Asia is drawing to a close... I was only supposed to come here for 3 months remember? But don't unfurl any WELCOME HOME LORNE banners yet... My route home will take me further away from Canada before it brings me closer to it. But as someone once discovered, if you keep heading west you'll arrive in the east. That is my plan.

In the meantime though, I will hang out in Bangkok with K, see some more sights and soak up what sun I can before I encounter winter again. Winter?? THAT is not something I look forward to. Maybe I'm just growing old, but I can't take anymore cold. Maybe I'm just growing wise, but I prefer much warmer skies.

But, if I do go anywhere, I promise I will take you there.

Wednesday January 2, 2002 : Guns Of Navarone

Evergreen Serviced Apartments has an excellent selection of movies available for free on VCD. The problem is in the last year I have watched most of them. I am now entering the zone of movies like "Superman 4", or even the highly praised "Chips 99"... So what can one do? You can watch "The Guns Of Navarone". It was a movie that as far as I remembered I'd never seen, and it looked like the kind of thing my Father would have liked. Once back in my pad I made some tea, got out the sunflower seeds, and popped it in the player... About a quarter of the way in to the movie I realized that I HAD seen this before... with my Father. By today's standard of "Action Movies" it is slow paced, but watching it brought back to me how my father had reacted to it. How he would point out each British weapon, or what kind of vehicles were being dressed up as German Tanks... Or how he laughed at David Niven's booby-trapped mouse. It's not strange that I miss my Father since he died in 1990, but it is strange how I am reminded of him by the most unexpected things.

Home-sickness is similar in a way. I had a pang of it this evening when I was eating my dinner at Fresh Milk. I thought of how great it would be to eat there with the Original Chris Chiasson after beating him in a networked game of "Red Alert". I can almost see him eating the chicken special without breathing between bites.

Oh well.

Tuesday January 1, 2002 : New Years Day

I spent the day lazing about. I was probably the only expat in the Evergreen who didn't have a hangover so I pretty much had the run of the pool. I took my lunch at Fresh Milk, then snoozed by the pool from early afternoon until 4:30 pm. The weather is amazing. It's sunny, cloudless and warm, without any humidity. It reminds me of summer in BC when I was in my teens. The pool doesn't get direct sunlight from 11:30 am until about 2:30 pm at this time of year, so the water is REALLY COLD... Its a good thing I'm from Canada. I listened to Rufus Wainwright's newest CD "Poses" on my Walkman and drifted in and out of sleep. Wonderful! "Poses" is an excellent CD. Some of the songs remind me of Adrian Belew in a way. I have some "FatBoy Slim" and "Groove Armada" tracks on the same mix tape so that was also in my headphones...

I went in and changed and then went to Fresh Milk for Dinner. I stopped by at 7-11 for my supply of sunflower seeds and the ever so yummy Thai treat "Green nuts" which is made of green peas, with a weird sugary rice flower stuff on them. They are salty and crunchy and I love them. Tonight's plans include doing nothing. I am not certain if K is coming by tonight.

Monday December 31, 2001 : New Years Eve

Tonight I met Geri and J at The Sheridan Hotel. They'd taken a large suite there for New Years Eve and were having a few folk over. I was meeting K at 11:00 pm so I went over and had dinner with them first. We had an excellent meal in one of the Sheridan's restaurant. We were joined later by two of Geri and J's friends who've been sight-seeing around Thailand. After our rather filling meal we retired to the suite for a toast to 2002 and at 11:00ish I headed out to meet K. We watched the fireworks going off at midnight and then headed back to Evergreen.

Sunday December 30, 2001: Movie Reviews

I have spent the last few days doing as little as possible. I did hang out with Geri and J a little, and I also used Geri's scanner to scan a wack of photos. I have snoozed by the pool, used the gym and hung out with K. A holiday indeed!

I have watched a few VCD's in my spare time this week... My mini reviews...

Tim Burton's "Planet Of The Apes": Why bother?
"Ghosts of Mars": It's "The Thing" in space, only not scary or interesting.
"Bubble Boy": Sort of like when I left home. Only funny.

I have also seen the new movie version of "Lord Of The Rings — Fellowship Of The Ring" twice, and have still not decided whether I like it or not. In a way, it is like seeing a look-a-like Beatles tribute band... They look and sound like the Beatles... but they aren't... For me, after reading "Lord Of The Rings" a dozen times since I was 17, the movie was missing something. It didn't FEEL like "Lord Of The Rings". There are so many small plot changes, so many complete omissions, and the characters are so reduced to bite size cliche that all the things that make the books so magical seemed to be missing. Instead I was subjected to endless close-ups of the ring, and travel log helicopter shots of the characters running, walking, riding or paddling... Or worse, plot changes just to give the special effects guys something to generate on their computers. Three hours is more than enough time to tell the story of the first book WITHOUT changing it. Why change it? How does it make the story better? Why does Sauraman being in league with Sauron work better "for the big screen" than the original intrigue of Sauraman attempting to create his own army in competetion with Sauron's? Why whittle down the council of Elrond part and remove the mystery of why the various travellers arrive in Rivendell at the same time? These little things annoy me simply because they are so unnecessary. The badly made animated version that came out in the late 70's covered the first book, and half of the second book in 2 hours, with out rewriting the story... In many ways THAT movie version is better. All the computer generated monsters in the world might look "really cool" now, but in 5 years... how good will they look? Just rent the first Jurassic Park movie and you'll be amazed how quickly those effects went from "realistic" to as obviously fake as lizards with horns glued on them.

Take the story of the Lord Of The Rings and what's left?

In fairness to the attempt, there were many scenes that were well done, especially the "mines of Moria" portion... The actors were all great considering the decaffeinated script they were given... and the 11 year old Thai kid that sat beside me the second time I saw it was as visibly excited by the movie as I was the first time I saw Star Wars in 1977. He LOVED it... so I guess that's all that matters in the end. I just hope that when he's old enough he can read the original and find out how great that is.

I'm sure I'll go see the next one when it comes out (hopefully in Toronto) but I don't look forward to it really. I'm afraid of how they will butcher up my favourite of the three books "The Two Towers" and reduce it down to Happy Meal size.

Ebert says what I'm trying to say much better than I can. I guess that's why he's on TV.

Tuesday December 25, 2001 : Christmas Prawns & Tigers

Last night I went to Central Chit Lom Department store and bought a few things for K. Not a lot, but enough to make the little tree look well stocked. I'd got a package from Canada so I had a few things under it already. I was going to wrap the presents myself, but there didn't seem to be any wrapping paper. After much difficulty (remember most Thais speak little if any English), I found the gift wrapping service on the third floor. With the kindly assistance of an Indian expat who spoke fluent Thai I had the items wrapped and ready to go. I met up with K, and we went back to Ratchathewi and made our regular stops at FRESH MILK and 7-11. Then we went back to Evergreen, ate fresh fruit and watched "Toy Story 2" on VCD.

K and I got up at around 6:30 am. She had arranged for her family to take care of her girl today, so she could spend it with me. This being a Buddhist country Christmas holds very little signifigance for most people, and K didn't fully understand my enthusiam about having a bunch of wrapped boxes under a little plastic tree. Watching her unwrap the gifts was funny. She didn't rip the paper off and tear open the boxes... She very carefully and very slowly took her time unwrapping them, as if not tearing the paper was the whole objective. She was pleased with her gifts which is what is most important to me. I opened my stuff and she was startled by the ripping and tearing involved.

Today's big event (how do we top the Grand Palace tour?) was to go to a place called Pattaya. It's a coastal resort area full of foreigners, and K was amazed that I'd never been there. We headed out at around 8:00 and took the BTS to the bus station. Then it was a 2 hour bus ride to Pattaya. I slept most of the way... as did K. Once in Pattaya, we hired this Thai version of a jeepney to drive us to the beach. The vehicle was basically a small pick-up truck with a jeepney style roof in the back. Not the safest I'm sure, but it got us there okay. We walked along the beach front or foreshore as I would call it and found a nice spot to sit. It was a nice sunny day, but I must admit I found it cool. I hadn't brought any swim wear so I didn't go in the water. K and I were quite happy to lie on the beach under the shade of the palm trees and watch the waves roll in. Various vendors strolled by, selling everything from food to miracle tonics that looked like potpourrie soaked in cheap whiskey... K kept most of them at bay, and we had some food. The battered prawns we bought were so good I ate 3 plates of them. They were the best prawns I've ever had in my life. A once in a lifetime meal, ranking with the fish and chips I had on the Isle of Mull in Scotland in 1992.

We eventually left the beach and headed to what K discribed as "her best place". You must understand that due to the difficulty we had actually communicating, I had NO IDEA where we were going... K's best place it would seem is the rather remote Sriracha Tiger Zoo. We took another pick-upney on this 40 minute journey along motorways and back roads until finally we came to the zoo. K was very excited to be back and couldn't wait to lead me around to the various "shows".

The zoo itself was pretty large. It wasn't a zoo in the Western tradition, but was a lot like the Crocodile farm that Superdry and Apple took me to back in the spring. The grounds were beautiful and very lush with lots of amazing blossuming trees and flowers. The first "show" we saw was the very disturbing Crocodile show. This involved a man and woman pulling crocks around by their tails, dragging them out of the water and onto this cement island and then doing suicidal things like sticking their hands and heads into the big reptiles' mouths. I was glad when it was over.

K lead me to the Elephant show next. Longtime readers of this journal will know my feelings on Elephants... But observing them made me realize WHY I dislike them so much... besides the obvious things like their smell, imposing size, and the testicularness of their skin. It came to me as one performed the walking on its hind legs towards the audience trick... They look like the fossilized alien that was found in the derelict spaceship at the beginning of the original "Alien" movie... a movie that scared me to death when I was 15. The elephants varied in size from HUGE to small, and I failed to find any cuteness in them or their antics. To the Thais, however, they are creatures with an important cultural significance, the same way Canadians have some weird affection for moose.

From there, we wandered about looking for a kiosk so I could buy some more film. We saw Buddhist monks walking around eating ice cream bars, something I wish I'd gotten a photo of. We came across the baffling Pig Race... A truly strange thing to watch. Supposedly pigs are more clever than dogs. They are stinkier too. As a boy one of the congregation of my Father's church in Alberta was a pig farmer. Once a month we would go to the pig farm for a meal... Liver, beets, and what was apparently potatoes. Then we would go "see the pigs". This wasn't 4 or 5 pigs.... it was hundreds of pigs. We could never figure out why the Pig Farmer didn't stink, but we had to wash our clothes right away once we had returned home.

Tigers!

K has the same enthusiasm for Tigers that I had for them when I was 8 years old. The first one I saw there was very close, sitting sunning itself on the other side of a glass wall. It looked like a big cat in a shop window. It made me think of when I was a boy wishing that some day I could go and see one... 30 years later, there I am. There was a "Tiger show". I didn't find it as unnerving as the crocodile show. Mainly because the tigers were so tame and so cat-like. The most surprising thing to me was how anyone could train a cat of any size to do anything at all. Even the one tiger who'd playfully take swipes at the handler didn't bother me. It had that exact same body language that any cat does when its playing. At the same time though, most cats don't weigh very much... The tigers were so beautiful. In a way, it's sad to see them "in captivity" although most would have been raised there, but on the other hand they are safe from poachers.

What else did we see?

Monkeys! A bear of some sort. Camels, a python snake, gibbons... A lady with scorpions climbing on her... I had my photo taken with the big snake draped over me, and much to K's delight I did pose with two gibbons climbing on me. I was more worried out them wizzing on me than anything... Much to my relief they didn't. The one thing I couldn't find in the many gift shops was postcards of the zoo. That was the only disappointment of the day.

At around 5:00 pm, K, myself and my sunburn headed back to Pattaya and on to Bangkok. K slept and I listened to Groove Armada on my Walkman. "Superstylin" is perfect music for riding a bus into Bangkok. We hopped off the bus and got the BTS back to Ratchathewi. We arrived at Evergreen around 8:00 pm.

It was an unusual but excellent Christmas!

Monday December 23, 2001 : Full English Breakfast

I had the best sleep last night I've had in... a long time. I must have been tired. K was up and off at around 5:30 am, but I promptly fell back to sleep afterwards. I woke up at around noon. Geri called and we arranged to meet at The Bull's Head Pub for some English Breakfast. I took the BTS over and walked to the pub. It was a beautiful sunny day out, the temperature in the 30's ... without the heavy humidity and smog that I am used to in Manila. It was wonderful!

I got to the Bull's Head first (of course) and Geri showed up a little later. J was off doing some Christmas shopping but he would join us later. We had the full English breakfast and it was truly yummy... Especially the sausages! We talked, joked and laughed and had a great time. No English breakfast, of course, is complete with out a drunken pathetic bust out Englishman hitting on Geri. He was well on his way to being what my Father would call "a rubby-dubby"... A man standing on that knife's edge between being a middle aged man, and an annoying old drunkard. The drink that propelled him so confidently from his youth into "manhood" of course speeding him like a jetpack to a beer-soaked doom. Not yet aware that he's no longer the big tough guy he was in his 30's and 40's, he pitched Geri and boasted of his wealth and greatness while puffing out his chest like some sad ape. Geri was far more forgiving of him than I. Her take on him was that he's just an English tosser like a thousand others who'd tried to impress her. My take was that he was a sad pathetic drunk who was annoying me while I was eating my breakfast. I made him go away.

J missed all this fun. He arrived shortly after Mr. Rubby-dubby had gone away and had been either expelled or fallen asleep in the toilet. We continued our breakfast chat with J and then went to the Emporium Mall and followed Geri around while she did her shopping. Dare I say SHOPPING made it really feel like Christmas? It did. Especially with the excellent if not perfect Christmas decorations the Thais had put up. Not bad for a bunch of Buddhists. We parted ways shortly afterwards and I headed back to Evergreen via the Siam center and MBK mall. I saw a lot of Bin Laden T-shirts, complete with arabic writing no doubt calling for death to all infidels... I thought of buying one... then thought that it might be in bad taste... Like wearing a Hitler T-shirt for "a joke". I did see one shirt that couldn't quite make up its mind as to who it was for. It had George W Bush and Bin Laden both on it with their names in that "military" M.A.S.H. type stencil font.

Weird.

I went back to Evergreen for a while then went and met K at 9:00 pm. I was willing to take her out and about but she just wanted to go back to Evergreen and watch a VCD. We stopped at FRESH MILK for some food (MMMMMMMM!!!) then walked to Evergreen. Tonight's feature was "Road Trip" with Tom Green. It was a good laugh. Stupid but funny.

Saturday December 22, 2001 : Hello Goodbye

I woke up at 9:00 am and began packing my one remaining bag. I must say that I hate that feeling of LEAVING. Even if it's an apartment I don't really like. There are still memories, good or bad...

I let Dorie sleep until 10:00 am then woke her. Rene picked us up in the red car at 11:00 am and off we went to The Last Homely House in San Lorenzo. I gathered up my things there and talked to Brook while I repacked one bag. I said my goodbyes to Brook and Karl, then hopped back into the red car... Off we sped to the airport. Dorie was in no rush for us to arrive. Saying goodbye to her was more heartbreaking than I'd imagined.

“Why when I meet a nice guy, then he leaves...” was her question. Yikes. Rene took a picture of us by the red car...

I was sad to say goodbye to Rene. We've had so many good laughs over the last year and a half. I really dislike leaving my friends behind. I dislike it as much now as I did when I was 8 or 9, or 13, or 17...

Once inside the Airport I passed through the security, which was even tighter than before. Something I didn't think possible. I got my boarding pass and headed into the customs zone. I paid my 550 piso airport tax, then stood in line to have my passport stamped. I chose the wrong line.

If they had put Jim Carrey in his Grinch costume behind the immigration des,k you would not have noticed any difference. I walked up and thought to myself “hey, its the Grinch's mom...” then I found out that IT WAS INDEED THE GRINCH'S MOM. She never cracked a smile (a Filipina who doesn't smile? How can this be?) but she was quick to send me over to cough up a bunch of cash on some bogus “exit charge” that I'm sure was bogus... But I was in no position to argue with her.

Merry Christmas. This whole runaround took forever and I got to my gate JUST as they were boarding. Dorie texted me I MISS U etc right up until I was forced to turn off my phone when I was on the plane.

The flight was fine. I noticed they'd replaced the dull metal knives that come with the meal with plastic ones. I listened to Emylou Harris' RED DIRT GIRL on my Walkman and drifted in and out of sleep, waking finally as we were landing... Making the past few months in Manila seem like some kind of weird dream. We disembarked down the “Beatles” staircase to waiting shuttle buses on the tarmack and were dropped off at the Terminal. I stood in line at immigration and waited. I struck up a conversation with the fellow in front of me, who had a DANGER LANDMINE CAMBODIA t-shirt. He turned out to be a missionary heading to Nepal. I helped him fill out his entry card and talked to him until we were ready to be processed. We got through with no trouble, a smile and a stamp and away we go. I guided him through to the Luggage zone and picked up my stuff which was passing just as we came out, and then through the customs “Nothing To Declare” section. Once outside, I sent him to where he could find his hotel ride, said goodbye and went off in search of Anand...

Anand was waiting for me and we walked to his taxi and headed out to The Evergreen Apartments... It was so wonderful to be back in Bangkok. I had such a feeling of “being home” that it surprised me. As we pulled up to the Evergreen I said out loud, as my Father would have, “Home again, home again, Jiggity jig...”

We got to the Evergreen at around 6:30 pm and I checked into my room. A nice shower (water pressure hurray!!) was in order as was some yummy beef and noodles from the 8th floor cafe. Once I'd been cleaned and fed I made my way down to the computer in the lobby to check my emails... as I was responding to an email I felt a strange presence peering over my shoulder... Who could it be?

APPLE??
Yes, indeed. Just back from a backpacking experience in Australia and heading out to the UK for Christmas. It was truly a great surprise. She informed me that she was meeting Geri, J, Maggie and Jake at Larry's Dive for dinner and insisted that I come along. I was more than happy to... Although perhaps she just needed help with her giant luggage. One piece felt like it had uranium bricks in it.

We took a taxi to Larry's Dive and found Maggie and Jake. Geri and J arrived later. What a great reunion it was. Jake was wound up like only a ten year old can be and alternated between shoot billiards, shaking the table and climbing on us... That's when he wasn't just running around and being funny. There is a certain diplomatic immunity that comes with be a cute kid. Which fortunately doesn't work on him Mom. We ate, we laughed, we told Mullet stories... We speculated on the where abouts of Snowy Brady, and others of our lost clan. Proper food, and music (Dreamer by Supertramp was not played, possibly since Superdry wasn't present to get upset about it) and good conversation with people I care for... Made it feel rather like... dare I say it?

CHRISTMAS!

Jake and Maggie's card for me was brilliant. A jigsaw puzzle of Santa holding his head in his arms, revealing his true identity as an alien...

At around 10:30 pm, Apple had to continue on to the airport to catch her flight, so we all headed our separate ways. Geri and J stayed behind and I walked Maggie and Jake to their Soi then headed on to meet K. She had expected me at 9:00 pm so she was afraid I'd changed my mind about meeting her. It was her Bar's 2nd anniversary party so her boss was being VERY generous with the drinks and judging by K had been generous all night. We hung out there for a while and took advantage of this, then took the BTS back to Evergreen.

It was like ... coming home.